Go grab a new copy of Transworld Surf. Buck has the new ERGO ad along with a nifty little story he wrote for them about hurricane season in the North East. Enjoy!
ERGO-Bands are one of a kind:
A person living in today’s world faces a staggering amount of potential problems: financial instability, police intervention, relationships, Ke$ha songs, etc. How can you boldly thrive in this word of never ending threats? ERGO presents you with the answer to every possible difficulty, ERGO- bands!
-Rubber bands were invented by William H Spencer as a means to hold things together. Since their conception in 1923, rubber bands have been used to hold countless things together, but ERGO holds the patent to the first rubber band the holds something else together- Your life.
-ERGO-bands make oxygen more readily available and better tasting.
-ERGO-bands have approximately 37 times the amount of natural antioxidants found in acai berries.
-Not only will they heighten your strength, balance, and flexibility, ERGO-bands are also proven to make your life up to 700% better by improving everything.
How ERGO-bands work:
The answer to this is both simple and complex. We follow the moral example set forth by Nike and pay Polish immigrants approximately 10% of living wage to work 20 hours a day to manufacture our revolutionary bands. In the production process, Polish blood, sweat, and tears are shed and naturally mend themselves into the bands. Polish excretions have been long known as the premier substance for human super-powers, so once the ERGO-band comes in contact with your skin, you naturally become better at everything you do.
*ERGO ensures that all of Polish immigrants are HIV free, and that they would not have nearly enough money to pay for any sort of medical treatment in general.
“Ever since I’ve started wearing my ERGO band, I haven’t been hit by any asteroids. Thanks ERGO!”
-Thermos industry mogul, Ted Towers.
“I was skeptical at first, but then I gave it a shot. Immediately after I put one on, it stopped raining outside, and I turned on the TV to find a Maury marathon. I love the Maury show!”
-Some guy having a mid-life crisis.
“Te rzeczy są naprawdę złe”
-A Polish immigrant
ERGO is so sure that our ERGO-bands really work, that we offer you a full money back guarantee: If a siberian tiger mauls you within the first year of purchase, ERGO will provide you with a full refund.*
*Must include tiger’s Siberian birth certificate as well as signed and notarized letter from Siegfried and Roy.
The somewhat small, (but soon to be bigger) ERGO surf team has scored a couple photos on the internet over the last week. Enjoy!
Here is Tommy Ihnken on Surfline. This was shot by ERGO’s own Ryan Mack, Aka Edmund, Aka ERGOmund. If you want someone to like every single post that you put up on facebook, make sure you add him HERE.
Josie Graves on Surfline showing off the new team sticker.
Buck setting up for broken board #3 with a sweet EURO MULLET in PR.
This is the OG ERGO intern, Brian Robinson, AKA Slob, who actually just walked in the door for his first day of actually paid work.